Nile Hand Piece $35
Pentagon Choker $35Accessories, Funnies, jewelry | Comment (0)
If you are looking for V Day gifts with a twist, how about these hilarious presents? I totally recommend these as long as your honey has a great sense of humor.
World's Largest Inflatable Heart $16. The name cracks me up.Accessories, Funnies, Home Decor, Skincare | Comment (0)
Normally I don’t care about gossip about Lady Gaga, but this is pretty ridiculous. This is a tip from the Kymaro company, a brand-name synonymous with infomercials, and apparently their bandage-color girdle is the actual costume for Lady Gaga & dancers during the “Bad Romance” number at recent performances.
Contrary to Gaga’s outrageous couture runway “get-ups”, the Kymaro Body Shaper is as mass-market as it gets. No, Alexander McQueen didn’t do a signature line or anything, these are “As Seen On TV” full-body girdles that retail for $39.99 at Bed, Bath & Beyond (no joke…). Check out the infomercial if you are so inclined on YouTube. Seriously, who wears body shapers as actual clothes, on stage no less? Have her stage costumes gotten so outrageous that she’s run out of ideas? Ironically, I don’t think the body shaper enhances her body shape at all :pCelebrities, Funnies | Comments (3)
Why do so many models and celebrities suddenly have pixie haircuts? Was a memo sent out?
Yes. And Ask Hadley has (through means that may have been sly, but never stooped to phone-tapping level) received a copy of that memo. It reads a little something like this – hit it!
“Dear ladies who make their livings out of their looks, here is a totally hot new haircut that will emphasise to the world that you have fantastic cheekbones and also are incredibly thin, because anyone else would look like Augustus Gloop with that ‘do. And if that wasn’t enough to have you hacking at your hair, here’s the cherry on this non-carb cake: it will also make you look a lot younger – childlike, even. That is a good thing, of course, as ‘childlike’ and ‘thin’ have become almost synonymous: the more thin one is, the more childlike one appears, ergo, childlike is good. Happy hacking!”
Celebrities like to feel that they are special, that there is something innate to them that lifts them above the peasant-like crowd who fly economy class and have fat arses. Some celebs think this “specialness” is about their talent. Others think it comes from their lifelong feeling that they are somehow “different”, a point they are fond of reiterating in interviews. Few of them put it down to their willingness to whore themselves out emotionally 24/7, and imbue their children with chronic insecurities, eating disorders and drug addictions as they grow up believing that success is measured in OK! magazine covers.
Anyway, the point is they like to know that they live in an unreachable ivory tower, away from the clamouring mob. VIP rooms and private member clubs can serve that purpose but, my goodness, have you seen who they are letting into Soho House these days? Very bridge and tunnel. Pixie haircuts (like Halle Berry’s, right), however, serve this purpose marvellously because only those willing to forgo bread for, like, ever, and who regard a plate of edamame as a really great hot lunch in the name of being deemed a “Bathing Beauty!” by Look magazine will be able to carry this haircut off. The pixies may see their cut as a sign that they are special, they are strong. Others may see it as proof that this person is probably a bit annoying. Either way, it’s a useful visual indicator for everyone.
If matchy-matchy is now a trend, as I’m told it is, then why doesn’t my girlfriend let me wear my denim jacket with my jeans?
Um, wait. I’m sorry, I need a minute to recover. Your email has overwhelmed me with its bonkersness. So, you have heard that something is “a trend”, and you think that this means it is inherently now good – so good, in fact, that it could somehow allow you to wear two pieces of denim together. Your girlfriend controls your wardrobe like, what, your mother? And now you have decided to tell the world that you long to do the double-denim look. I’m sorry, Brian, but are you unwell? You obviously need many answers, and I don’t feel sufficiently qualified to answer them. But hey, I’m a professional, and if this somehow saves the public from seeing someone go double denim, then I shall stoically tackle your questions.
Look, Brian, there is no excuse for double denim. I wouldn’t care if there was a law saying that everyone should work the matchy-matchy look; this does not mean you should start dressing like a rock band from Estonia in the 80s. “Matchy-matchy” refers to matching colours, not matching fabrics. Key point. Another key point is that just because a couple of designers promote a look does not mean it is good – and certainly not, contrary to what some magazines might say, “essential”. It just makes it the look those designers are trying to make you buy. Different.
Moreover, why in the name of all that is sane and obvious do you want to do the double denim look anyway? Do you think it looks good? Do you own a mirror? Brian, dear heart, take note. It’s a big ol’ world out there, full of fabrics other than denim. Live a little!
And finally, I know I may have joshed you a little earlier about your clearly saint-like girlfriend controlling your wardrobe but, on reflection, I think that’s probably a good thing – and, incidentally, she is always, always right. Hey, you asked for it, pal.Filed under Articles, Funnies | Comment (0)