Guy’s Perspective – Matiko Sweater Boots

January 1st, 2009

Matiko’s boots are usually classically stylish boots. I don’t know what the heck went wrong with these Sweater Boots ($216 for some rubber, sweater material and some ropes!). My guy had to do a Guy’s Perspective post for me on this one. It’s been forever since he contributed.

Sometimes I think good fashion isn’t nearly as fun as ridiculously bad fashion. Just to drive home that point my co-workers and I had a bad sweater day at work before Christmas in which we went thrifting for the worst sweaters you can possibly imagine.

To me an ugly sweater is the epitome of bad fashion that you really can’t find in other pieces of clothing. Thank God someone took all the ugliness of a bad holiday sweater and wrapped it into a nasty looking pair of boots.

I think if the Inuit people hunted technicolor polar bears they would be forced to wear boots like this. As an added benefit it also makes it look like you have fat calves.

So remember if you want to have all the glory of a bad Christmas sweater wrapped around your shins, get your brand new pair of sweater boots today for… 216 bucks!?! That’d be a lot of thrift store sweaters.

Guy’s Perspective – paint jeans

January 22nd, 2008

Justice Flap Pocket Slim Bootcut in Dark

CoutureCandy offers $25 off any jean for the new year with code NEWJEANS. But look at these ridiculous Justice Flap Pocket Slim Bootcut Jeans in Dark ($211). I wouldn’t take these jeans if they offered me $200 off. My guy has something to say too.

Wow that’s just awesome! This is like the jean equivalent of the mullet. Except somewhat backwards these jeans all party up front and business in the back. If I saw you wearing these jeans I would probably ask you if you were painting your house and forgot to change. Then again I don’t even think you’d actually paint your house silver, so maybe not. I guess the faded worn jeans thing was popular for a while but I don’t think the “paintin’ jeans” is a trend that really needs to catch on. However if you think this look is cool you could always grab your favourite old pair of jeans and lie face down in your preferred shade of Benjamin Moore latex. I recommend the low gloss.

Stay away from these jeans, girls! There are many other fabulous options, such as Charmer Slim Boot in Iodine ($172).

Guy’s Perspective – shoes with warts

November 6th, 2007

It’s been a long time since I let my guy contributed to this blog. Well, when he saw these shoes, he just couldn’t resist.

Wow. Fashion boggles the mind, if the mind happens to be the X-Y chromosome type. Which mine is! My God women what’s wrong with you? Someone must’ve thought this affront was a good idea. I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that brainstorming session. Black and glossy? Check. Super duper high heel? Check. Boils that look like they’ve resulted from a venereal disease? Check-mate! Or perhaps they were going for “studded for your added pleasure?” In any case these are by far some of the oddest shoes I’ve ever seen and I think personally snakeskin would be a far better option than warty toad skin. Then again, what do I know, I’m a guy 🙂

These are Alberta Ferretti Studded leather pumps $745 in case you were curious.

Now in my humble opinion this is an example of the right amount of Swarovski jet beads with strategic placing. The shoe is curvy, edgy and sexy in this gorgeous shade red patent leather.
Miu Miu Jeweled heel pumps $650.

Predictions of the Fashion Skeptic

July 19th, 2007

First off if you find this post strange it is because my strange-yet-lovable husband is writing it. His views do not reflect the opinions of this blog. Void in Utah.
… My name is Grindy and I approve this message! I’ve noticed fashion goes to some interesting sources for inspiration. I’m a big believer in “Nothing new under the sun” and think it’s, “All been done before.” So Fashion has gone to the Military ad nauseam, they’ve tapped into skilled trades and fairy tales. So where next? Well, I’m going to go out on a limb and say Ninjas. I know what you’re thinking… Ninjas and fashion don’t mix. I disagree, they were probably the first people to really go out on a limb with the “basic black”, perhaps they took it a little too far but I digress. Regardless, I think Tabi are going to be the next big thing! The separation of toes 1-2 and 3-5 (3-6 in the south) will be all the rage!
If you ladies can wear this and feel normal

You can wear this and feel normal

Guy’s perspective – a questionable necklace

July 3rd, 2007

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? I figured it was time for my guy to “contribute” to my blog again. Here’s what he thinks of this necklace.

I’m often surprised to see what is classed as “Fashionable” or desirable to wear as an accessory. Ok, so the big chunky bracelets and super huge buddhist beads, fine; do what you have to do. Personally though I’d recommend you ladies draw the line at wearing stuff that looks like excrement. Just to start this necklace is too huge to be worn in public, I’d imagine no one would pay attention to anything else you’re wearing other than it. It’s about as subtle as having a boa-constrictor wrapped around your throat. Still, all those are minor complaints compared to the real issue. It looks like poo. Mind you, I can appreciate the skill of an artisan to forge a dog turd into this complex shape, however you’re not fooling me I still know
it’s poo. If you’re really into having poop on your chest, keep it in the bedroom Helga, we don’t want to see it!

If you absolutely love this necklace, well…SURevolution 45″ Pretzel Snake Necklace $115

Guy’s perspective – shoe or armor?

February 15th, 2007


Who doesn’t love punkass funky shoes once in a while? But I’d say this one has gone a little too far. My guy summed it up pretty good. I bring you a new installment of “Guy’s Perspective”.

Whoa easy there Xena Warrior Princess! Oh I’m sorry you’re not Xena? Then what’s with the crazy Amazonian Warrior clogs?

The rivets and leather on these shoes makes me think “Armor” not “Clothing”. Perhaps it’s geared towards the she-beast man-woman who likes to look her best when fighting hordes of barbarians. Although I guess the open face and straps would leave your instep and Achilles tendon vulnerable for attack.

Hmmm, maybe it’s for the days when you hang up your sword and shield and decide to just lounge around the tribe’s fire and have a relaxing day skinning animals or forging stuff.

All sarcasm aside these shoes look more like part of a costume than part of a wardrobe and my first thought if I saw you wearing these things is that you’re probably a kinky girl. So if you’re a kinky girl or you simply enjoy wearing armor, by all means go nuts. If however those two classifications don’t apply to you I’d avoid these shoes.

Guy’s perspective – silly shirt

January 23rd, 2007

This one needs no introduction. I bring you a new installment of “Guy’s perspective”.

Wow there are so many possible methods of attack for this horrible
horrible shirt. Well first off it makes me think of crappy drapes from a rumpus room in the 60s. It’s really got that “Tacky Furniture” feel to it. It even trumps the classic gawdy button-down the “Hawaiian shirt”, staple of drunken co-eds everywhere.

Also I think this type of shirt speaks of a certain type of personality. Like an overly brash used-car salesman or mayhaps your irratating uncle Larry, with the bad toupee. Once again I’m not on the cusp of fashion, but if this thing is what’s considered fashionable I’m glad to be on the outside of the fashion world.

Wow, my wife just informed me this thing is 150 bucks! Holy crap! What guy wants to buy a nice belt or a good pair of shoes when they could just as easily blow that much on a shirt that looks like it was cut from a futon? Not this guy!

Hey I never made a jab about homosexuality this whole post! *cough* ghey *cough* sorry.

Guy’s perspective – weird-looking models

January 9th, 2007

I was browsing the fashion websites as usual and looking at some runway pictures. I pointed to a batch of pitures of Gemma Ward, whose look I think is very unique and perfect for runway, for my guy to see. He was like “what a weird-looking model!” I told him that she was one of the hottest runway models at the moment. So my fashionista friends, here’s another installment of “Guy’s perspective”. I can understand that the average guys prefer Victoria Secret models over haute couture models. We all know haute couture is weird too sometimes.

So who’s bright idea was it at the turn of millenium that all models should look freakish. Whilst looking over the wife’s shoulder while she was smurfing the weeb, I noticed all the models in the pictures she was looking at were hideous. Not like normal ugly-girl hideous,more of a side-show freak hideous. These women look more likely tobleed green and beam up to a mothership than to appeal to any man. Iguess the theory is that plain old gorgeous women like back in the 90s(Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, etc..) are boring and we needsomething different. I guess that’s a pretty good indication of how out of touch most high fashion houses really are with the real world. Then again I guess in the formula of effeminate men designing for rich celebrity women doesn’t focus much on the standard definition of”beauty.” I can’t wait for freakish alien models to leave magazines and runaways… at warp speed.